Chuck Norris: Icon

My brother and I had Sidekicks on VHS when we were kids and we watched it on a continuous loop. We rented Three Ninjas every time we had a chance. Of course, I'm very much aware that both of these movies borrowed most of what they had to offer from The Karate Kid (and did so rather poorly) and also that they were brought on by the popularity of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They weren't great movies, but martial arts films aimed towards children were a big deal in the early to mid 90s. Our interest in martial arts was no exception. We even took karate classes for several years.

Chuck Norris, the star of Sidekicks, has been in the news a lot lately.  Well, a lot for him and the current state of his non-career anyways.  He has endorsed Newt Gingrich, because for some reason an endorsement from Chuck Norris means something in our current state of politics. Mr. Norris was also recently the supposed reason behind Expendables 2 shooting for a PG-13 rating. I couldn't care less about this movie or its rating as I didn't see the original film nor do I plan on seeing its sequel. I just find it interesting and maybe a little sad that this childhood icon (yes, really) of mine has become the representative of conservative Republican values for the state of Texas. I've known for many years now that Chuck Norris isn't a perfect man. I'm not sure at exactly what moment I came to this realization. I do know that it was sometime pre-Conan O'Brien Walker, Texas Ranger lever. It was similar to that moment when you realize that your parents aren't perfect. But. 

Come on Chuck, get your Jesus boner out of my eye.

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I would watch the shit out of this show:




The funniest thing I've seen all week:





And my current favoritethingofalltime!!!!!:



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Top 5 Anticipated New Television Shows of 2012

Homeland was easily my favorite new show of 2011 and I think that show will continue to be one that I will be really invested in.  Enlightened and American Horror Story were also highlights.  I was really glad when I heard HBO had decided to continue with a second season of Enlightened even though I think I was the only person that watched it.  And when I heard that subsequent seasons of American Horror would feature entirely new story lines and characters, I became even more excited for what the show could become because, let's face it, some of that first season was only as good as it was because it was really pretty crazy awful. With that being said, some of the new shows of of 2012 are looking pretty promising.  My current top five anticipated new shows are:

5. Luck 

I will say that while the horse race themed plot doesn't seem like the most interesting concept, the hype has definitely gotten to me.  I mean, it's HBO.  Plus, it's from David Milch (Deadwood) and Michael Mann.  And Dustin Hoffman and Nick Nolte.  It's got to be decent, right?  Premieres January 29.

4. The River 

This will be another attempt (after American Horror Story) for horror television.  I wouldn't say American Horror's strength is in it's ability to "scare", but this one seems to be more focused on its ability to do just that.  I really like the thought of being scared shitless on a weekly basis with a one hour format.  I'm just not sure if it's possible.  The creator of Paranormal Activity, Oren Peli, will also be using the same found-footage style used in those films.  Premieres February 7 on ABC. 

3. Veep 
Coming in April from the creators of In the Loop, Veep stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus as a senator who becomes vice president. Cool.  Also on HBO.  

2. Alcatraz 
What can I say?  I miss Lost.  There's a void and it must be filled.  That is what this show has been created for.  Actually, you know what, Lost wasn't even that great a show.  There.  I said it and it's true.  Anyways, this premieres January 16 on FOX.

1. Girls 
This is from the director and star of Tiny Furniture, which was one of my favorite films of 2010 so I have high expectations for this one.  I just hope that it's closer in tone to that film and HBO doesn't try to make it into some weird Sex and the City replacement.  They wouldn't do that would they?  Premieres in April.

Next up: Top 10 Anticipated Films of 2012!